Content Harry Potter Jane Austen by Pamela St Vines

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TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2008 3:06pm for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

Very good chapter.

gunny

Zevrillion posted a comment on Tuesday 18th March 2008 9:14am for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

Interesting story.

brad posted a comment on Monday 17th March 2008 11:15pm for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

Satisfying chapter, a good read. I thought you got the 'balance' of things done nicely. Rather than one long monotonous Harry-lectures-the-world rant we instead had lots of variety in this chapter. The sub-plot of Snape and his animosity and intentions towards Harry. Harry and the two faces of Dumbledore and their ongoing tug of war (which I felt was restrained and didn't go overboard this time). Harry's friends pop in. The surgeon's visit. Enter Dobby for some comedic relief (sometimes your Dobby irritates me, but again, this time his limited dialogue seemed just right). Then Bang! Another battle, totally unexpected, which put a big blip in the chapter (you do the action very well). And then the aftermath of the operation and the kiss (which was nicely done, not overly saccharine, and again introduced some humour). Enough variety and things happening, different issues, to keep things moving nicely.

I also liked your attention to detail regarding the surgeon's remarks about the mechanics of the operation. Sometimes, again, I think you go a bit overboard with the science, allying magic with the 'real world', like Harry's sometimes overly pedantic lectures on quantum mechanics and the like. Or maybe I'm being unkind, that's a few chapters ago (and in a totally different story, come to think about it! Although it's all Paladin Universe). But I thought the doctor's occasional references to Millicent's bone structure and the limits to what he could do (no waving a wand and turning her into an instant Veela) weren't overdone and fit well. Causing we readers to 'believe' even more in what was happening. Harry's decision to use a picture of Millicent as a baby, rather than using a ten-by-eight glossy photograph of Marilyn Monroe / Claudia Schiffer / <insert favourite movie star> was a good, realistic idea too, which impressed me as both clever *and* kind; kudos to him (and you!).

And it was a lovely ending, Millicent giving back some comfort to her rescuer. Nice image you closed on, a very comforting and comfortable end to the chapter. Thanks!

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Thursday 6th March 2008 8:40pm for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

Brilliant!

MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Monday 3rd March 2008 1:46am for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

Excellent! I enjoy your writing but have not been a fan of the Paladin Program fics. This fic is the exception. Your interactions between the characters are so much more enjoyable to read when the PP isn't setting the stage.

anettemargarete posted a comment on Sunday 2nd March 2008 10:34pm for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

wow a great chapter and then this ending, oh my god. now the waiting begins anew.

hope to see more of this nice and witty and protective millicent in the next chapters. perhaps we get to see a bit about ron and his atttitude adjustment too?

anette

Quizer posted a comment on Sunday 2nd March 2008 2:13am for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

I love your work, and this chapter is no exception. I like how you're slowly bringing things back on track after their ordeal and give them time to recover. The whole face reconstruction thing was very well done, and I liked Harry's blatant disregard for 'propriety' and Dumbledore's so-called advice.

The unexpected trouble Harry is going through with the potion makes me wonder what went wrong, but I have a hunch that whatever it is, there might be an eventual benefit or two. I'm looking forward to see what direction you'll take this after all the ramifications of Harry and Millicent's journey to Hogwarts have been resolved.


Quizer

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 29th February 2008 8:29pm for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

P.P.S. That last scene is most definitely going to increse the intensity of Harry's & Centi's relationship and it's to be hoped that Ron matures mentally enough to accept it, otherwise I somewhat fear for his friendship with Harry; all things considered, Centi has been at least as good a friend as Ron has been. I like the way this story is evolving and I'm quite looking forward to the next chapter.

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 29th February 2008 4:47pm for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

PS. A few further thoughts; I loved the prank that Centi & Harry played on the healers, though I suspect both found that there were some unexpected "side effects" they need to explore further.

I do have to wonder about Dumbles' intense concern over propriety, a concern so strong he sent Harry's friends into argue his case, rather than the health and well-being of a student. Oh, wait, said student was in Slytherin and therefore under Snape's "care" and not needing more - NOT!! Sometimes you can't help but wonder if Dumbles actually wants Tom to win.

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Thursday 28th February 2008 6:11pm for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

oh, my!! They are good for each other and that bond forged through shared danger, pain, and combat now becomes deeper as they share the pain of the Paladin potions; I suspect that Centi will be as strongly in opposition to anyone speaking against Harry as Harry is to those, even close friends, who speak against her. I found the visit of his friends interesting, Ron has clearly matured only physically and not psychologically (not sure what it'd take to properly affect him that way) while Hermione clearly has matured both ways and Ginny seems to have made some progress on both without being in the program. I can see there are going to be a number of adjustments needed across the board before matters play out completely.

Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Thursday 28th February 2008 5:44pm for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

I was deleriously happy when I saw this update. I love this entire story arc, but must admit that this is my favorite. I do NOT like Dumbles in this one and I look forward to some nice confict... especially after Harry awakes. I hate the fact that Dumbles was, once again, going to do something against Harry's expressed wishes just because he thought it was the best thing to do. For such a self effacing supposedly wise man, he has an ego the size of Texas.

Anaknisatanas posted a comment on Thursday 28th February 2008 5:40am for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

Oh geez. So did Harry succeed in his shield to keep everyone out so he wouldn't get the Ending Potion? I also thought the reconstruction of Millicent went well and I enjoyed the confrontation between Harry and his friends. Ron still has a lot to learn.

EricThorsen posted a comment on Thursday 28th February 2008 2:56am for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

Interesting... I like the way you are writing Dumbledore and Ron as more stubborn than malicious. All to often their unthinking, wrongheadedness comes across as intent, but you've successfully avoided that pitfall. It will be interesting to see how this story continues to develop.

KenF posted a comment on Wednesday 27th February 2008 12:57am for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

I enjoyed the kissing prank.

The problem with trying to knock sense into Ron is that non-lethal blows don't get his attention :)

jimnjoye posted a comment on Tuesday 26th February 2008 6:27pm for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

Great Chapter! Thanks for updating this, I am really enjoying it.

sanghamitra posted a comment on Tuesday 26th February 2008 4:05pm for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

Brilliant chapter. I wonder why everybody enjoys Ron bashing, though in canon Harry and Ron seem to share same sentiments, in fanon Harry grows up while Ron goes prat. If you can mature your Harry so can you mature Ron.
And, it's simply not Human to kick a sick person, even if it is you're supposed enemy. So why exactly would Ron do that. He could still have asked those questions just in a more hushed manner. Oh well ... artistic license and so on, but I expected better.

fountaam posted a comment on Tuesday 26th February 2008 3:04pm for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

Augh! A horrible cliffhanger - hope you give us more on this one before the other 2..

Cassandra posted a comment on Tuesday 26th February 2008 1:34pm for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

Nice. The level of detail is amazing in this story. Of course I didn't expect anything less, but it is always nice to be surprised. By the way you are evil for the cliff hanger. Wow! This has to top on the lists of evil cliff hangers! I sincerely hope you update soon. Great Job on your story.

zac posted a comment on Tuesday 26th February 2008 11:21am for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

wow that was intense. very nice.

Joseph Schuler posted a comment on Tuesday 26th February 2008 10:59am for Chapter Four - The Things I Do For Science

Fantastic chapter. Curious chapter title though.

This story is proving to be just as good as the other Paladin Universe stories.

Too quote Oliver Twist, "May I have some more, please."